Gee, thanks

How the Quiznos commercial goes:
Creepy Toaster Oven: Hey I'm staring at your choose 2; can you tell?
Beautiful Woman: *giggle* Yes.

How this would happen irl:
Creepy Toaster Oven: Hey, I'm staring at your--
Beautiful Woman: AHHH A TALKING TOASTER OVEN IS OBJECTIFYING ME.



Jeep is right. Women love fancy cars and gettin their hair did!

GTFO

I was about to be infuriated by the insanity that this child was allowed anywhere near a microphone, but then I realized that each generation is cursed with one white pre-teen boy whose job it is to distract other pre-teens so they don't cause massive societal damage. Although painful to listen to, it is a necessary evil. My generation had Aaron Carter and we laugh about it now, so I hope someday we can laugh about Justin Bieber together. For now, the wounds go too deep and only time can heal them.

Sexy "Chick"

Dear kids,
This is proof that you must possess a large vocabulary in order to impress the ladies. You know how sometimes you're just trying to find the words to describe a girl without being disrespectful?? If only you had paid attention in English class.

MMM whatcha say

Why is this guy having a conversation with a sample? The sampled song is always going to have the same recorded answer and you will never change its opinion!

R

are our rrr?

arrr!

a mild predicament

i jacked it too hard too often and now i can't feel

Mad Hatter

The development of the clock was simply a matter of time.

__________

I've just kind of lost my identity as anyone of intelligence or value

Copypasta By: Anonymous

With ceiling cat as my witness
I solemnly swear
To sit on my throne
As the prince of Bel-Air.
Bitches don’t know
‘Bout my an hero
So they pray to Raptor Jesus
When I divide by zero.
I want delicious cake,
But it’s surprisingly far.
Jesus Christ it’s a lion
Get in the car!
Need moar mudkips
And fuck yeah Seaking!
I’m not really into
That Pokemans thing.
Do not want
Since you’re doing it wrong.
So I kill it with fire
And nom nom nom.
The internet hate machine
And a series of tubes.
Buy a dog
Or companion cube.
Everyday is Caturday
So do a barrel roll.
Don’t get b&
For being a troll.
There are over 9000
Corruptions of lol,
But only one blockatiel
That covers it all.
Once you have learned
A cat is fine too,
Then you will see
A winner is you.
Candlejack came
And…

Mental

it stems from a deep philosophical belief that everyone's values are wrong and they need to be shocked into awakening

and a strong foundation in humor