10 Descriptors of An Unwelcome Guest

Would you find someone appealing who...

1. poops their pants
2. is missing teeth
3. has tantrums and fits of tears and wailing for no apparent reason
4. sucks nipples but never follows through
5. doesn't clean up after themselves
6. uncontrollably barfs everywhere as if on Ipecac
7. is completely high maintenance, requiring nonstop attention, expensive clothing, bedding, etc.
8. urinates anywhere, any time, any place
9. makes spit bubbles and drools
10. gets praise for all of these lackluster and, frankly, disgusting acts, and basically can do no wrong

???

Then why do you think babies are gifts?